The other day I was having a deep conversation with my sister about the effects of generational rejection. In specific, we discussed the soul-wrenching effect childhood rejection can have on the establishment and development of identity and confidence. The marks it leaves. The lies it sows. After ending this conversation, the conversation carried on in my own mind.

Memories of being excluded by even those you expect to love you the most, dawned on me. Reminders of when familial disregard started also flashed before my eyes-still managing to produce a slight sting. The reality of how rejection was established since childhood left an even deeper sorrow for the little girl within.

Yet an even worse, bitter truth laid there… The truth that the enemy wasted none of these moments; in fact, he capitalized on

every

single

one

of

them.

Talk about him getting his Return on Investment (ROI).

Can you relate to any of this?

Hindsight is 20/20 vision in these moments. When we are finally able to have an aerial view, we can see the attacks the enemy has had on our life.

Personally, the enemy weaponized each of these instances to plant seeds of deception. Seeds that yelled my worth and identity were forever tide to these moments. Seeds that said if family could reject me, how much more would the world? How much more would God?

When I found myself away from the Lord in adolescence, this identity of rejection grew into a monster of its own within my heart. Before I knew it, I steered between hypervigilant people-pleasing to depression.

The exact snare the enemy wanted me in (Proverbs 29:5).

Fast forward years later to present time, I can’t help but smile when reflecting on the freedom I now have from this specific Egypt.

How GREAT is our God!

Years wasted on pleasing the unpleasable, aiming for the unfulfilling left me dried and weary. Wasted and done. But God filled parts of my soul nothing could ever touch (John 4:14).

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So much so, whenever I now find myself excluded from tables my heart no longer hurts the same. Tables of recognition, friendship, leadership, and fellowship, even though fun in their own right, no longer carry a pedestal of idolatry.

My identity is no longer tied to a lie but tied to the truth.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

And even more so is the truth of the following: If our LORD himself, perfect in every way, was rejected, cast aside, lied on and persecuted, what more can I expect from a broken world (1 Peter 2:22; Hebrews 4:15)?

I do not want this broken world. I want JESUS CHRIST. In fact, it is him that renews and softens my heart to even those who aim to hurt. I choose peace for my soul, and the grace and forgiveness that too was freely given to me as a wonderful gift (Luke 7:47). THANK YOU GOD! Cause wow have I hurt people too!

Will you choose the truth of who God says you are? Will you choose to ignore the lies and distractions the enemy, the world and the flesh have to offer? Not every table is meant to be sat at. And some foundations are also meant to die for the right thing to be built.

Make a choice today. Who will you entrust your purpose in?

I pray you choose wisely.