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During my prodigal, young adult years, I enjoyed a surplus of worldly friendships. My life was laced with partying every day at different spots with “great” drink specials. I often frequented the Wicker Park, North side neighborhood of Chicago. Moments were filled with laughter.

Moreover, I had the privilege of having a childhood best friend that I considered my “ride or die”.

I shared many milestones with her-like flying an airplane and riding a bike for the first time, traveling, attending the same school settings from elementary through college, work, etc. And, honestly, I saw her as one of my sisters.

Recommitting my life back to the Lord, completely changed my social circle. Many friends were lost. Values were so starkly different, there was no salvaging the remnants of the past. And to be honest, there was so much healing and change that still needed to occur within me, as well.

So, when I started to attend church, I was more than excited to build a new circle of godly friendships. But little did I know, I would go on a volatile roller coaster of emotions.

I would find myself opening up to people not yet grounded in the Lord; people full of pride in their leadership role; people still with one foot out in the world; and, even worse, legalistic/pharisaic heart postures.

I was vulnerable in my walk. As such, I approached these relationships without guarding my heart. Being transparent about my anxieties, marriage, and health really gave the wrong people a dart board for criticism.

At the moment, I thought I was experiencing a lot of “church hurt”. But truth be told, I was experiencing a lot of “people hurt”.

This led to years of praying for the right, Godly friendships, and a heart now so guarded.

It goes without saying, I wasn’t blameless. There were many things that I learned, discovered and grew in during these seasons that I will discuss in later blogs. I believe it’s important to state this. Because, let’s be honest, it is hardly ever one-sided. When navigating social dynamics, you are dealing with differing personalities, upbringings, trauma, and yes, sin. This alone, can make connecting a challenging aspect.

So, please do not misunderstand this post as me solely pointing fingers. The finger is definitely pointed my way, as well.

Nevertheless, here I was, in a year’s long valley of praying for that one friend. My prayers went from, “Lord send me a group of women to walk this life with,” to, “Lord just send me one!” to, “Lord, just do not leave me.”

Seven years passed, to be exact, when I met three women. It was so beautiful that it was seven! This number represents the Lord’s fulfillment of purpose. Surely, a vacancy in my walk was finally completed.

These three women embraced me with a deep, profound love. A love active and true. A love that when I fearfully expressed hurt, was met with respect. A love that was so grounded in the Lord that I could expect a spiritual whooping and be glad it was so. Why? Because I knew without a doubt it was grounded in love.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

But one particular friend made me believe again in the phrase “best friend”. That term had left such a sour taste in my mouth in years past. However, this one special friend deserved this and more. This friend was my Jonathan/David. A friend after the Lord’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). A friend I could talk to for hours and walk out the restaurant when it was closing. A friend who cared that I pursue the Lord at all costs. Yes, that friend. A friend to go into spiritual battle with.

So, dear visitor, if you find yourself in a similar isolating valley, do not grow weary for the Lord’s redemptive story is much more special than you can imagine. Sometimes things must die, so other’s can live.

Stay encouraged and keep the faith!