After 12 years of ministry (both in leadership and out), I became spiritually protective of the those in my stewardship. However, sometime ago, I hit a fork in the road.

It had been eight years of marriage ministry for my husband and I, when we experienced a palpable, demonic manifestation during one of our group sessions. An individual had attended our group, and quickly displayed a spirit of mockery and depravity against all things of God. They even went as far as patronizing others input.

My spirit quickly hyper-focused on guarding the hearts of the couples, who sat before us, from the seeds of deception being sown at this given moment. This person’s ongoing discourse presented a visible distraction to the material at hand. In turn, this created a duality of emotion within me- anger and fear.

What would happen if we completely dismissed this individual’s ongoing rhetoric? Would they continue to escalate in their aggression? What if we did address it? Would it only serve as a distraction?

Our training in the Lord kicked in, and we addressed some points and quickly pivoted back to the material.

As the session came to an end, I walked to the back of the room to pray that the Lord would remove all attack coming from this person, because I found myself reeling in emotion at what the enemy manifested. Alongside this, I really did not want to further engage with them, as I noticed them lingering back to do so. And, to my shame, I purposefully entertained another conversation to avoid more demonic confrontation. Eventually, this person left and continued the same behavior in another group, while still attending service.

Regrettably, what would transpire in the coming weeks would pierce my soul…

I would come to find out this person was facing terminal cancer, while having two, young children to tend for-children close in age to my own children. The grueling, gut-punch I felt the moment this news was delivered to me, brought me to my knees in the comfort of my home and led me to weep.

My eyes were opened to what this person’s soul was truly seeking. This person was seeking the LORD, even in their brokenness and calamity; their divisiveness; their own demonic strongholds. See, for a moment, I was so fixated on protecting the sheep before me, that I became blinded to the sheep covered in black stains in front of me (Luke 15:4). I let anger and fear distract me from a very clear assignment.

Fortunately, the Lord still gave me the opportunity to share the gospel during a hospital visit. But before I knew it, this person passed away…

I could have never learned the lesson I did, of holding fast to the commandment of the Great Commission, the way I learned through this encounter. I could not erase my actions, but I could prevent future misguided ones.

¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”- Matthew 28:18-20

I share this story to encourage and exhort you NOT to be distracted by the schemes of the enemy, as I was (Ephesians 6:11, 2 Corinthians 2:11). Greater is HE who is in us then he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We must carry that mentality or else we may lose an opportunity to bring someone into HIS kingdom. Take hold of the fear, and set it at the foot of the cross. Hold your thoughts captive to him (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I, now, hold this story close to my heart and I navigate any brokenness before me differently. I must always answer this question: Will I go into the trenches or will I be distracted in fear and anger?

I choose to go into the trenches.

What will you choose?